To continue from my previous post:
So, I left off at the point I decided to just direct myself. How did that work out for me?
As you can probably guess, not so well.
I lacked discipline, and to be honest, I still do.
Not too far into this phase I became a full Christian, and I had to ask myself how God affected my wish to change the world. God does not lower the bar, whatever you think you can do, He can do more with you.
The first thing God did was have me stretch myself in the areas I was weak. I was still a very fearful person then, in spite of my dreams. Once my fear started to become less of an issue, I though I was finally ready to tackle a really big Hard Thing. I tried to complete a big project. To raise $10,000 for a cause I believed in. The idea was inspired by the sequel to “Do Hard Things”, “Start Here.”
Yeah, I didn’t start small. I ignored the people who cautioned me about this, and I also didn’t wait to be sure God was on board with it. I never even made it to a tenth of the sum.
However, there is no such thing as a wasted experience. I did get my first taste of public speaking, speech writing, and fundraising through that process. I learned stuff the hard way, but I also discovered strengths I didn’t know I had.
You see where I still had growth though, as I said in my last post, I do tend to rush into things.
I did a little bit of teaching through my youth group after that, but low expectations continued to infuriate me on a regular basis. Worst of all was that all of my peers bought into them and despite our youth leaders honest efforts to inspire us, they didn’t seem to get it. Again I kept getting told that I was the exception, not the rule. My attitude began to be “Well, dang it! Why not?”
Frankly, that’s still my attitude. I am an extremely gifted person, I have accepted that; but I am not a person who’s really done that much more than anybody else. The difference is, I’ve been looking for ways to change, and learn, and effect my world since I was a young teen. That has sculpted my character. Plus, I figured out something else really important.
You let God lead. Even if you don’t like where He’s leading. If you had told me three years ago that I would do the things I have down in the past two years, I would have been dubious at best, terrified at the worst. I have face things that were huge obstacles in my life only a short time ago, and now, I could face them again, and know it was possible to overcome them because I’ve already done it.
Some things I can’t share because they are too personally, but here’s an example of what I mean:
Going to another country, where getting sick was a distinct risk, and where I wouldn’t know anyone, even the people I was going with. And I couldn’t call home. I couldn’t quit in the middle. I couldn’t do anything except rely on god to get me through.
And oh my gosh, did it work! God is amazing people. That terrifying choice ended up being the best experience I ever had next to becoming a Christian in the first place.
I began to be a rebelutionary the first time I decided not to be satisfied with what the world expects of me. But I didn’t finish becoming one until I’d gone through the process of being refined (that is groomed) for the challenges of that lifestyle. I still am in the process. I always will be growing and changing, for the better I hope and believe.
So that’s my story. I may not be able to contribute to the books about Doing Hard things, but I can se the one platform I do have and the small circle of influence I currently hold, to be a voice for it.
So, if I could learn, you can. You may be like me, or you may be completely different. I just want you to know that the journey starts with your perspective radically changing. You could very well be on that journey already, if so, I’ll see you at the finish line.
The important thing is to start, and not to quit. Use every experience as fuel for the fire, even the negative ones. Don’t listen to anyone who puts you down because of your talents or age or history. This is turning over a new leaf. Even if you failed yesterday, the next day you can start again.
This is really a lot of points in one post, but it’s what I’m learning from becoming a rebelutionary.
Until next time–Natasha.